True Story.

True conversation with the Post Office lady while I was sending out my immigration paperwork:

ME: How do you recommend that I send this package (indicating US Citizenship and Immigration Services) so that it gets there quickly and so I can get a delivery confirmation?
HER: Most people send this kind of thing certified mail. Would you like to do that?
ME: Sure, that sounds great.
HER: Fill this out here. Are you going somewhere?
ME: No, I'm hoping to stay, actually.
HER: Oh! Your English is so good I couldn't even tell you're foreign!

[pause]

ME: That's because I'm from Canada.